One thing I've learned this week

[amethyst73]

... is, if you can afford to do so, go into an independent living community when you're in your early to mid 60s (basically, as early as they'll let you in).  Independent living communities, if they're doing it right, have you move in when you're still completely independent (and they'll provide 1 meal a day for you), and then as you need more and more help, they'll provide more and more help right there (or at worst, elsewhere within the community).  If you do this, you will prevent your immediate family from stressing and having to do what some would consider distateful tasks for you while they figure out your care and/or get it started.

Now, will Huz and I have the willpower and common sense at age sixty-something to actually do this?  Um... check in in 30 years and see!

Comments

[orichalcum.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to have that very conversation with both my dad and my in-laws, but of course, they don't see themselves as "seniors" or in their parents' situations. "But we're only 65!" But you're totally right - out of our (CP's and mine) four sets of grandparents, the two pairs that went into retirement communities had wonderful, awesome retirements with lots of interesting stimulation and company and then gradually more support as needed until peaceful endings, whereas the two pairs that stayed living in their own homes had...a lot of issues and messiness. Now, this was not unrelated to the mental stability and common sense of the grandparents involved, but still. I hope CP and I can find some nice academics' independent living community to join in 30 years.

[amethyst73.livejournal.com]

You'd like The Sequoias. Full of really really smart people. (They're also on the expensive side - in Portola Valley, and they're one of the buy-in places where your heirs do NOT get any of your down payment back.)

Heh. Find a good academics' community, and let us know about it too! We can all help each other get convinced that it's the right thing to do. ;)